EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT or tapping therapy is an effective self-help tool for de-escalating agitation. It can also be used in a therapeutic session with a therapist to help the person process anger, anxiety, depression, and destructive life patterns. Unlike EMDR, a person doesn’t need a therapist to utilize EFT. There are dozens of websites and youtube videos that they can follow to help them find a sense of peace and calm. I often tell people, “just google EFT for anger, anxiety, insecurity, or any triggered emotion, find someone who’s voice you like, and follow along.”
The theory is that EFT works with the meridian points as identified in Chinese medicine. These points are said to be pathways in the body where energy flows. These pathways help balance energy to maintain health. Any imbalance can influence disease or sickness, or in this case, disruptive emotions.
EFT focuses tapping on the meridian points — or energy hot spots — to restore balance to the body’s energy. Restoring this energy balance can relieve symptoms that negative experiences or emotions may have caused. Most people have heard of acupuncture. Acupuncture also focuses on meridian points. While acupuncture uses needles to apply pressure to these energy points, EFT uses fingertip tapping to apply pressure to these energy points.
When using EFT a person starts by naming the problem. Louise Hay, author and speaker, used to say, “to clean the house, you have to see the dirt.” And that is how an EFT or a tapping session is designed. The first part of the session is all about “seeing the dirt,” that is: clearly naming the problem. The next step is accepting the problem. The last step is resolving the problem, either by finding a solution or letting it go.
Here is how it works:
The first step is to name the problem with a statement of acceptance. Tapping first on the “karate chop” part of the hand (the edge of the hand just below the little finger), the person will say something like: “even though I’m so angry, I love and accept myself.” Or, if “loving and accepting” doesn’t feel true, they could say something like, “even though I’m so angry, I accept that I have these feelings.” This statement is repeated three times.
Next, they will tap on the inside of the eyebrow while naming the problem “I’m so mad.” “I’m mad they didn’t call me back.” “They should have known I was waiting and waiting for their answer.” While talking about the problem (either out loud or internally) the person will continue to tap through the points, moving from the inside of the eyebrow to outside of the eye, then under the eye, under the nose, under the lip, collar bone, under the arm, and top of the head. It’s fine for the person to say every mean, nasty little thing that they’ve been thinking. They may need to go through the tapping points a couple of times before they are ready to move to the next step.
Once they tap through the points talking about the upset, their upset will generally start to calm down. The person will then move on to accepting the problem while tapping through the specific meridian points. This might include statements like: “I’ve felt angry for a long time.” “This anger gets in my way of asking for what I want.” “I’m so angry I push people away from me.” “I don’t like pushing people away from me.” “When people don’t do what I think they should, I get really mad.” “My anger gets in the way of solving the problem.”
The last step is to focus on resolving or letting go of the problem while tapping. As they calm down, they will usually start to see possible solutions. This might include statements such as, “I’m tired of pushing people away.” “My anger usually doesn’t help matters.” “I might be able to calm down and find another way.” “I can learn to calm down and ask for what I want.” “I can learn to calm down and accept the answer.” “I can learn to calm down and figure out my options.” “Someone else might have the information I need.” “I can learn to be patient.” “I can focus on some other tasks while I wait.” “I can call again.” “I can learn to handle my anger in a more constructive way by calming down first, and then deciding what to do.”
EFT is a great self-help tool to reduce and release agitation. Even though I used the example of anger here, it can be used with any overwhelming emotion, such as sadness, anxiety, nervousness, grief, disgust, and most other emotions.
If you are curious 😊 a good website to learn from is The Tapping Solution (thetappingsolution.com). They have instructional videos, research information, and videos that you can follow along with to see how it works.
Author:
Milana Marsenich LPC
As a therapist and a natural listener, I have had the great privilege of witnessing amazing generosity and courage in others.